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once we have been reimbursed for our efforts. >> an why should i pay you, mary pop ins. i already got 9 receipts me. >> who gave you the recipe? >> i must have gotten it from mr. bates. i told you unreliable. >> but i never gave bates the recipe. >> no, wait. (cheers and applause) >> congratulations, my lord. are you now the key kingpin of your chair. >> yes, but it's a mixed blessing. as byron once said, mo money, mo quandaries. >> carson you dropped something. >> i can explain, my lord. >> you mother [bleep] (laughter) >> stephen: all for you, nation, all for you. and tune in next time when brian cranston will reenact scenes from malcolm in the middle. that going to be crazy! we'll be right back. >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much. nation, you know as we say good-bye to 2012 i'm going to take a moment here to bid a fon fair well to someone we lost this year. ham rove, ham was chief strategist and principal lunch metaphor colbert super pac. then last month tragedy struck when he fell repeatedly on to a knife that i was holding. before we could get hi
once we have been reimbursed for our efforts. >> an why should i pay you, mary pop ins. i already got 9 receipts me. >> who gave you the recipe? >> i must have gotten it from mr. bates. i told you unreliable. >> but i never gave bates the recipe. >> no, wait. (cheers and applause) >> congratulations, my lord. are you now the key kingpin of your chair. >> yes, but it's a mixed blessing. as byron once said, mo money, mo quandaries. >> carson you...
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12/12
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a rocket pop, into space. may god have mercy on my soul. houston, in 10, 9, 8 -- i'm not liking this breeze. i'm scrubbing the launch. i'm scrubbing the launch guys. we'll try to get it in four weeks. this is much better weather conditions. this is one step for me, and anyone that owns a weather balloon. a lick for luck. found it. there it is. i just liked the only popsicle that went to space. >> i'm also the only white person to enjoy dessert in ka compton. ball's in your court, dippin' dots. ice cream of the future my ass. goodnight. switch to hover mode. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ "the colbert report" ♪ ♪ "the colbert report" ♪ "the colbert report" ♪ ♪ (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the report! stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: well come to the report. good to you have with us, lady its and gentlemen, let me begin by saying ellen sil
a rocket pop, into space. may god have mercy on my soul. houston, in 10, 9, 8 -- i'm not liking this breeze. i'm scrubbing the launch. i'm scrubbing the launch guys. we'll try to get it in four weeks. this is much better weather conditions. this is one step for me, and anyone that owns a weather balloon. a lick for luck. found it. there it is. i just liked the only popsicle that went to space. >> i'm also the only white person to enjoy dessert in ka compton. ball's in your court, dippin'...
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so this year i am a shoe-in to take it as long as there isn't a huge k pop star with killer dance moves capturing america's heart. >> gangnam style. >> stephen: ppssyyyyyj! he dares to be on the list ahead of me. oh, i will crush you and the invisible horse you rode in on. (laughter) besides, right now i am at number five which you will recall this year is number one. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: so i am already kind of winning. now of course i'm also making listory with my new book, america again, rebecoming the greatness we never weren't. boom! thanks to you, nation, we have been on "the new york times" best-seller list for eight years in a row. bam lam! but here's the thing. we peaked at number three. and every week since i'm trailing bill o reilly's best-sellers killing lincoln, killing kennedy, and let's say sodomizing coolidge. (laughter) now you know, anybody watches this show knows there is no bigger fan of bill o'reilly than bill himself. but-- i am a close second. nevertheless there are no friends on the best-seller list, as papa bear proved on the jon stewart show. >> so
so this year i am a shoe-in to take it as long as there isn't a huge k pop star with killer dance moves capturing america's heart. >> gangnam style. >> stephen: ppssyyyyyj! he dares to be on the list ahead of me. oh, i will crush you and the invisible horse you rode in on. (laughter) besides, right now i am at number five which you will recall this year is number one. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: so i am already kind of winning. now of course i'm also making listory with...
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. >> stephen: the 3d pops. >> at 48 frames a second, no less. >> stephen: people haven't seen that yet. i have seen that. it's amazing. it's-- you're so in the world, it's like you're watching the movie through a window. you're a witness to the movie in some ways. >> you're almost back out the other side and watching it from the back. ( laughter ). >> stephen: i don't know enough about movies to know what the ( bleep ) you just said. but i trust you. you're the genius. you're the godfather of. >> . >> soul? >> stephen: you could probably play james brown. you're the premiere performance capture artist. what's the difference between performance capture and motion capture? >> performance capture is the later iteration if you like. you may use that word. motion capture is basically what you used back in the day with video games where you have a martial artist. >> stephen: ping-pong becauses. >> performance capture is basically capturing the entire performance in one hit. we can be doing a scene hereby the live action camera is filming you, and a head-mounted camera captures the entire per
. >> stephen: the 3d pops. >> at 48 frames a second, no less. >> stephen: people haven't seen that yet. i have seen that. it's amazing. it's-- you're so in the world, it's like you're watching the movie through a window. you're a witness to the movie in some ways. >> you're almost back out the other side and watching it from the back. ( laughter ). >> stephen: i don't know enough about movies to know what the ( bleep ) you just said. but i trust you. you're the...
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(laughter) and the drugs, oh, primo uruguayian electric pop rock. (laughter) of course, all those drugs make me paranoid that those friends who keep showing up don't really care about me, just about my squirrel pool. (laughter) so i'll start gambling, playing the ponies. and not just upcoming races but also past races. oh, god, i can't believe i lost $320 20-million on the 1982 belmont stakes! curse you, crystal sins! (laughter) now the money's drying up, people don't come around anymore. my wife and my kids don't recognize me because i paid cosmetic surgeons to make me look like an olson twin. (laughter) (cheers and applause) so my family walks out on me. but that's okay, i got that new girlfriend, cinnamon. and she loves me for me, money. (laughter) and she leaves me for ming the merciless! how could you do me like, that ming? bros before hos! oh, my god, how has my life come to this? i wish i'd never won the lotto. (laughter) i didn't win. oh. oh, god, thank god. okay, back to the salt mine. (laughter) from now on, no more stupid gambles, i'm goi
(laughter) and the drugs, oh, primo uruguayian electric pop rock. (laughter) of course, all those drugs make me paranoid that those friends who keep showing up don't really care about me, just about my squirrel pool. (laughter) so i'll start gambling, playing the ponies. and not just upcoming races but also past races. oh, god, i can't believe i lost $320 20-million on the 1982 belmont stakes! curse you, crystal sins! (laughter) now the money's drying up, people don't come around anymore. my...
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but two of the biggest ones are ones so they could bond with the local pop las because the district center was down the road and two because they needed to resupplyment and at 2 o 006, during 2006 most of the helicopters were in iraq. and so in order to set up a camp there it needed to be by a road so they could resupply the camp. and they couldn't do it by helicopter because the war at that point was under manned and didn't have enough assets. america has paid attention to afghanistan and then forgotten the war and then paid attention to afghanistan and then forgotten the war again. what made you remember the war as a journalist? what inspired you to go over there. >> two things. one is i was in the hospital room with my newly son born jack on october 3rd. and in news report came out of the corner of my eye saying that this camp had been overrun, a camp i had never heard of. but the coverage was all why would anybody put a camp there, it doesn't make any sense and i wanted to find out that mystery it didn't make any sense. and no one ever explained it so i started researching and asking a
but two of the biggest ones are ones so they could bond with the local pop las because the district center was down the road and two because they needed to resupplyment and at 2 o 006, during 2006 most of the helicopters were in iraq. and so in order to set up a camp there it needed to be by a road so they could resupply the camp. and they couldn't do it by helicopter because the war at that point was under manned and didn't have enough assets. america has paid attention to afghanistan and then...